While innocently perusing the internet in search of an appropriate, gardening-related Father's Day gift, I happened upon this gem: the venerable Mooning Gnome.
You must read the reviews, for they contain high levels of hilarity:
I got the mooning gnome as a christmas gift and it is my least favorite. It is smaller than the standard gnome and made of plastic. I live in Vegas and after two summers my gnome lost all color and turned a grayish black color. You get what you pay for and as a gag this is kind of fun but to a gnome collector it cheapens your yard.
Yes, the poor quality of the pantsless gnome is what is cheapening the yard, not the fact that there is, in fact, a dwarf with his ass hanging out stationed there.
Mooning Gnome too gauche? Try the item "Frequently Bought Together" with it: the Squatting Gnome. Nothing conveys an air of sophistication and elegance quite like a tableau of a miniature man defecating on one's lawn. Majestic!
However, this gnome won't fade in your apartment.
ReplyDeleteP.S. - I think Santa reads the comments section.
I stick to the oldies. The cardboard-cutout of a heavy old lady bending over her garden and showing her bloomers to the public is my idea of lawn class. These cheap huksters hawking their ass gnomes make me sick. CLASS IT UP, AMERICA. Go bloomers. Okay, gotta get to the store now. My dad's truck nutz need replacing.
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