A friend of mine emailed me today after her lunch break, enraged at what we've all run across: peeps who stop dead in the middle of the sidewalk to do whatever - gawk, talk, hawk ("Who wants to buy some stolen mascara?") without regard to the fact that YOU'RE TRYING TO WALK, HERE.
Some other sidewalk-related peeves:
1) Jerkwads who don't shovel their sidewalks when it snows. Do the math: it snows, it melts, it becomes ice, I fall down and break my ass. Isn't it illegal to not clear your sidewalk? Are people gunning for lawsuits?
2) Packs of people who feel the need to walk five abreast along the sidewalk and expect me to move out of their way. Um, no. I'm not tromping along in the gutter so you can link arms like the Monkees or people in some mouthwash ad where you're all laughing with impossibly white teeth while I get pushed into a parked car.
3) Bikes on sidewalks. It's a sideWALK. For feet. Or wheelchairs; I don't discriminate. But it's not for bikes, especially not ones baring down on me at like 30 mph. Get in the road!
4) When you go to London and lose your purse within 15 minutes then fall down on the sidewalk while desperately searching for this Safeway that you JUST SAW to try and find some chocolate to buy with the only 75 pence you have to make yourself feel better and no one helps you up even though you are bleeding and crying. For instance.
What are some other sidewalk irritations?
Timely! On three separate occasions over the last two days I nearly sent you a text message from the ground on your block of 9th. It's the only ridiculously icy block left on my commute. I had it in my head, for some reason, that if I fell, I should first let you know. One because you live there, and two because maybe at least you'd get a good laugh before you helped me up.
ReplyDeleteps. I figured out to cross the street tonight and not even risk it.
When I lived in New Orleans I used tourists as a unit of measurement. A sidewalk in N.O. is about 2 tourists wide. But if they were locals, you could fit about 4 or five across a sidewalk.
ReplyDeleteObnoxious SUV baby strollers really annoy the piss out of me. Especially the ones that fit like 3 kids across. Assholes! I can't get around you and am gonna be late for work because you have to show off to the world that you can't keep your legs closed and are popping out kids like a Pez dispenser. Thanks!
ReplyDelete(maggie here):
ReplyDeletethis is not directly sidewalk-related, but can't wait to complain about my Top Peeve NYC:
stopping at the top of the stairs and not moving (or worse yet-escalator!) b/c of an apparent need to reflect on your life while an entire staircase of people is waiting below you (or crashing into you in the case of an escalator).
My sidewalk annoyances?
ReplyDelete- when a sidewalk ends abruptly
- people driving on the sidewalk
(it's not a sidecar)
- zombies
Crowded sidewalks and umbrellas generally don't mix well.
ReplyDeletePeople spitting right in front of you while you are walking. Is it even acceptable to spit in public? I mean...i've gotta walk right there dude...I don't want to walk in your fresh spit!!!
ReplyDeleteHipsters with their tattoos and wacky thrift store clothes and their $1,500 stroller trying to be all bohemian.
ReplyDelete