It's like, enough already with the squirrels. Every time I'm walking through the park, there's someone transfixed by one: chasing it around a tree, taking its picture, trying to communicate with it through a series of clicks and teeth sucking sounds that I'm pretty sure are not in any way fooling the squirrel into thinking that this guy in Dockers with a $5000 baby stroller is, in fact, someone the squirrel might see back in the nest later that night.
By and large, the folks who seem the most interested are the ones not speaking English with an American accent. Which begs the question: do they have squirrels in other countries? I'm pretty sure they do and that they look almost exactly like the ones here. I've been a bunch of places, and I've seen them. In Canada recently, I saw one that was black. That's crazy.
Basically, squirrels are like people with neck tattoos - everywhere and not very interesting. I saw a squirrel this morning eating a nut with its tail all curled up behind it, behaving as a squirrel should. I guess that was kind of cute, but boring, sort of like the Levi Johnston of squirrels.
Once, I saw a t-shirt with an image of a squirrel with huge testicles on it. Some kind of visual nut joke, I guess. The interesting part is that it was stapled to a plywood loading palette and propped up randomly on a sidewalk with no one around and no word of explanation. So what I'm saying is if these squirrels in the park put in a little extra effort like the one on the shirt, we'd all be a lot better off.
I am really not a fan of squirrels. At all. Did I ever tell you about my neighbor, who told us the first time we met him all about his pet squirrel that used to sit on his head? To that I say, Ewwww.
ReplyDeleteThey do not have squirrels in Australia. In fact, when I was at the zoo they had one in a small little cage and it was labeled "North American Squirrel" - I felt so bad for that squirrel I wanted him to roam free as a squirrel should not trapped in a little cage in an Australian zoo. There were lots of people huddled around that squirrel thinking it was the most amazing thing they ever saw. No joke. These people you see must be Australian - that is my theory. --Christi
ReplyDeleteNO WAY! I had no idea - thanks, Christi. Maybe Tori's neighbor was Australian.
ReplyDelete"Once, I saw a t-shirt with an image of a squirrel with huge testicles on it. Some kind of visual nut joke, I guess."
ReplyDeleteNOT A JOKE!!! Must have been a t-shirt of a Kalahari Squirrel!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thewildlifephotographer/2782282728/
http://www.allposters.com/-sp/South-African-Ground-Squirrel-Male-in-Breeding-Condition-Central-Kalahari-Game-Reserve-Botswana-Posters_i4016499_.htm